♥
heh. been too long since i blogged.
suddenly felt like it. sorry for not blogging for the past two weeks(?).

exam results were atrocious. failed almost all of them.

English p1: 30/60
p2: 50/100
MT total: 51.12/100
E-maths: 80/140
A-maths: 10/100
Core Geog: 37/50
Elect Hist: 15/30
SS: 15/30
Physics: 14/100(?)
Chemist: 68/100

even though the papers i passed, overall marks are sure fail.
didn't pass up work, homework got low marks, etc.
i don't even dare to tell my parents my results.
they are bound to "kill" me.

was too stressed and just broke down yesterday.
so not me. too much was in my mind.
almost did just now. when miss tham talked to me.

i should try to cheer up. being sad makes everyone avoid me.

so i'll end here. nights people. (:

♥
okay. let's start.

i know u hate my fucking attitude. i can fucking change it if you want to. you tell me. which person in this fucking world has no fucking attitude? TELL ME. even you have one okay. dont need to act as if you angel la. no one in this world perfect la. i know i owe u all favour la. but how to fucking return it to you guys? if you all fucking ignore me, how in hell am i going to give you all back a favour? since when i say you all my dog arh? if u all dog go bark and eat from dog bowl la. go pee at a tree la. if u dont lie, i think you're god arh. now, by acting as my FRIEND, you are fucking lying to me. u think what, u type the word "despo" means u not calling me one arh? so saying u nt my friend uh? eh, to me, you're a FRIEND. if u fucking treat me as your fucking friend, why the act? tell me in the face u dont like the fucking nonsense and i can fucking change. i use u. u never use anyone before meh? dont think you perfect la. if i going too far, tell me arh. i can stop what. fine. i accept the fact i backstab. but SINCE WHEN did i say i POPULAR? when?? u might think that i have the name tengku, i think i big shot arh. in fact, i fucking hate that name la. its like one extra shit in my fucking name arh. people keep calling me tengku. u think i like ah. i have a fucking life la. if not i'd be dead already. u think i happy arh. my fucking lies, attitude and personality, is losing me - what do you call that..? - FRIENDS. im trying to change arh. trying to be better. trying to repay all your kindness. but how am i suppose to do all these when u dont even give me a fucking chance? i only showed you attitude ONCE. that was on tuesday. only one. and if you fucking care, drop the act, tell me in the face, and i will change. if you still cant take it, fine, just ignore me, only answering if its about school.

so now, ill try to treat you guys NICELY WITH CARE AND CONCERN, NOT USE YOU GUYS, AND NEVER FUCKING TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED.

i feel that i should be apologising to you (and her). on monday, ill apologise to you PERSONALLY. if you cant accept it, at least i tried to be better. you made me wake up from this dreamland of mine. im sorry if i shot at you with the wrong understanding that you shot at me. i just assumed that i feel that you're fucking pissed off with me.

to her;
im sorry for all i said, done, acted.
was just pissed at that time and couldnt control myself.
probably you would hate me alot by now.
i wanna thank you for being a good friend for the past few weeks.

♥
I'm thinking of you. <3


hello people.
sorry wasn't able to blog the past two days.
so here i go.

Saturday ; 19.04.08

had classes in the morning,
but didn't went for much.
left after awhile as it turned out to be boring.
waited for clarissa till she finished her geog lesson.

had lunched till around 3(?).
kel, sel, and el had already left.
so waited for clar's bus to come.
waited for almost half an hour.
she went home, so did I.

nothing much at home.
just faced the computer screen and rot-ted.

Sunday ; 20.04.08

went to the library with michelle and joelle.
as usual, I'm early.
sat at the library, not studying.
mostly messaging clarissa (:

i look weird.

minding my own business.

walking with different bag.


went to tampines mall after that and the girls went to look for kel's birthday present.
quite nice luh.
red wallet.

after that went home and found out computer wasn't working.
forced to rot AGAIN.

Today ; 21.04.08

crapped on the compositions.
basically didn't finish those i did next.
i think I'm going to fail.
how amazing.

after exam, wanted to go to the library.
instead, dear clarissa wanted to go home.
ended up at the bus interchange.
sat there for 4 hours.
her bored face.

won't put up anymore pictures of her.
I'm scared of getting a scolding.

Now

I'm totally bored.
laptop battery is getting low.
so thats all.

----------------------------------------------------

tag replies:

JOELLE: yeah first is nothing. only tags from someone means everything. (:

CLARISSA: HELLOS! hahas. tag-ged u back. yeah. we've nearly gt the same =D

ALYSSA: ALLLLLLIIIIIEEEE!! :)

Michelle: eheh, mind your language. >=( updated already. =.=

!WENSEN: ehhhh. good thing i have lorh.

JOEL: i wont link anyoneeee!! updated =)

sofi: yesyes! i have! hahas.

belynda: heylos. yeahhh! saw it. im trying to cheer up =D

♥
hellos people.
started a blog.
so i wont get bored at home. (:

blog about today.

its like any other normal day luh.
physics, english(boring), amaths, assembly.

physics was okay luh.
must pay attention, as promised.

english is boring.
mdm farida's lesson is getting boring by day.
started sleeping.
can't stand it already.

amaths was sleeping time.
ms chung came in to visit the class.
for idk what reason.
she didnt even wake me up.
how amazing.

assembly was... nice?
investiture today.
clarissa went up stage. haha.
she was scared.
told her not to.
she went up, got called and....
haidhar and the rest shouted my name.
i was like.. wth!!
i think i went red. hahahaha.

nvm. it's a thing of the past.

had maths tuition just nw.
was quite okay la. at least can understand abit.

cca ended at 4.30. was quite fun.
better than sitting down doing nothing.

after that walked to whitesands.
slacked around. then all went home.
waited with clarissa at the interchange.
after waiting for long(?), her bus came.
she went home, then i became bored. hahaha.

--------------------------------------

sick the last few days.
can't stand it till i slept in class for three days.
people keep making noise. in the end, when wake up,
i'm pissed. hahaha. sorry for the temper.

--------------------------------------

okays.
i'm tired, she's too.
i think i'll be going to sleep soon.
goodnight people.
goodluck on MYE. :)

♥
TESTING.