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okay. let's start.

i know u hate my fucking attitude. i can fucking change it if you want to. you tell me. which person in this fucking world has no fucking attitude? TELL ME. even you have one okay. dont need to act as if you angel la. no one in this world perfect la. i know i owe u all favour la. but how to fucking return it to you guys? if you all fucking ignore me, how in hell am i going to give you all back a favour? since when i say you all my dog arh? if u all dog go bark and eat from dog bowl la. go pee at a tree la. if u dont lie, i think you're god arh. now, by acting as my FRIEND, you are fucking lying to me. u think what, u type the word "despo" means u not calling me one arh? so saying u nt my friend uh? eh, to me, you're a FRIEND. if u fucking treat me as your fucking friend, why the act? tell me in the face u dont like the fucking nonsense and i can fucking change. i use u. u never use anyone before meh? dont think you perfect la. if i going too far, tell me arh. i can stop what. fine. i accept the fact i backstab. but SINCE WHEN did i say i POPULAR? when?? u might think that i have the name tengku, i think i big shot arh. in fact, i fucking hate that name la. its like one extra shit in my fucking name arh. people keep calling me tengku. u think i like ah. i have a fucking life la. if not i'd be dead already. u think i happy arh. my fucking lies, attitude and personality, is losing me - what do you call that..? - FRIENDS. im trying to change arh. trying to be better. trying to repay all your kindness. but how am i suppose to do all these when u dont even give me a fucking chance? i only showed you attitude ONCE. that was on tuesday. only one. and if you fucking care, drop the act, tell me in the face, and i will change. if you still cant take it, fine, just ignore me, only answering if its about school.

so now, ill try to treat you guys NICELY WITH CARE AND CONCERN, NOT USE YOU GUYS, AND NEVER FUCKING TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED.

i feel that i should be apologising to you (and her). on monday, ill apologise to you PERSONALLY. if you cant accept it, at least i tried to be better. you made me wake up from this dreamland of mine. im sorry if i shot at you with the wrong understanding that you shot at me. i just assumed that i feel that you're fucking pissed off with me.

to her;
im sorry for all i said, done, acted.
was just pissed at that time and couldnt control myself.
probably you would hate me alot by now.
i wanna thank you for being a good friend for the past few weeks.